TV Movie: “Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf”

Some TV movies aren’t meant to be taken seriously. The names alone suggest as much. But while the movie itself is bound to be a turn off to most people, for those that enjoy this type of creature feature, there’s much to get excited for. Sometimes even, that excitement isn’t wasted. The sacrifice of a few hours could very well be worth it.

The New Horizons production “Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf”, is another creature feature battle centric film that actually supplies what it sells.

The creature feature stars Casper Van Dien (upcoming “Mucho Dinero”, “Avengers Grimm”), Catherine Oxenberg (“Sleeping Beauty”, “The Dog Who Saved Christmas Vacation”), Akari Endo (“Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda”, “Cristo Rey”), Tony Almont (“Noche de circo”, “A Tiro Limpio (Short 2013”), Jorge Eduardo De los Santos, and Mario Arturo Hernandez (“Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda”, “Al Sur de la Inocencia”).

The film was directed by Kevin O’Neill (“Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda”, “Dracano”) and written by someone. I couldn’t find a name and missed it in the credits.

It originally aired on July 19, 2015 on SyFy.

Continuing on this amazing journey known as Sharknado Week on SyFy, we have this gem of a movie! I planned so far in advance (a few hours) because this movie just sounded so worth it! Unlike many other films for SyFy, this one actually did something they can’t do. Provide intentional funny moments. As this is the third film (I think) in the Sharktopus series this one might possibly be my favorite. I never thought I’d say that about anything that wasn’t “Sharknado” related.

So, first off, if you think that I didn’t find this film to be a bad film, you’d be wrong. It is a bad film. Bad all the way around. But it’s bad in all the right ways too.

The acting, especially from Oxenberg, was pretty bad. Not so much from bad line delivery, even though the dialogue was ridiculous. I’ve never seen a scene go on so long talking about a feathered bird, when all you could do was picture something else a bit more dirty. Also for Oxenberg was the fake German accent that was so bad she sounded like a Bond villain in some bad Bond film. Like really bad. Worse than the crap from the 1960’s. Her character was just over the top in every capacity. It didn’t help that she and another character seemed like they stepped off the set of some porn film, repeatedly. It was that bad and ridiculous.

Everyone else, of the main cast, seemed great, even though they too were a bit excessive. Van Dien definitely helped by not trying to be serious at all. I feel that it was as if they’d learned from “Sharknado” a bit. He and De los Santos’ Pablo both provided some great comic relief, both intentional and unintentional. This is actually where you got to really enjoy this film. There was one scene with Van Dien where he thinks he can control Sharktopus through voodoo (yes, voodoo) and he says, “Friends?” to Sharktopus. The response wasn’t to eat him. No, Sharktopus let Van Dien shake his tentacle, but mere seconds later decided to slap Van Dien a few times. He then ran because Sharktopus was ready to eat again. Stupid and silly, but oh so funny!! The whole Van Dien being a drunk bit, which went on the whole time, was also quite funny. I should say that the thing with Pablo was humorous as well, he makes for a great sidekick, but was only heightened because of this wonderful medium called Twitter. I’ll return to this later.

Aside from great moments from the characters, as they try to stop the different sea creatures, there was the main event. The epic battle! Well, in this case it was epic battles. Unlike “Mega Shark vs. Kolossus” and so many other films, this one actually got to have three battles between Sharktopus and WhaleWolf. The first didn’t even take that long to happen, again, unlike so many others. It was at about 33 minutes during the movie that we got to witness them fight each other. It was mostly entertaining. The creature designs were actually pretty good, even though WhaleWolf did look a bit too cute at times.
Before I forget, Twitter! I gotta stop incorporating this into my SyFy films watching. But If I were to take it out, I think the film would be just flat out bad. Bad like so many other SyFy films. Interestingly enough, it was this film that decide, like “Roboshark” to get a bit meta. At some point, I think last year, Sharktopus got his own Twitter account. So, as one would expect, or not be surprised by, they reference in a pretty funny way, that Sharktopus is following them on Twitter. Of course one of the immediate things to do is groan, roll your eyes, and facepalm. Once again this film was just an amazing one with the help of fellow Twitter users that were live tweeting. Because of the action on Twitter and the actual film, the laughter never stopped and I was kind of sad that the film was over. Luckily Sharktopus shall be back next year!

I’ve seriously sat her for a few minutes in this commercial break, (yes, I’m watching something else) and can’t think of anything else that should be said. This film was silly, and sort of had a direction for this film to go. It actually had a few directions, which didn’t make sense for awhile, but certainly made for entertaining moments. Still, it achieved what it needed to, in an A to B sense, and didn’t make me regret it. For that, I will say that once again I’ve found a film, that for the moment, has restored my faith in the SyFy film.

While this film is nothing great, and certainly can’t achieve the level that “Sharknado” and it’s sequels have and probably will, it’s still well worth it! It’s purely because of Sharktopus and how it’s just gotten to be a bit cute, almost to the point of parody, but it gives you reason to actually hope he survives, or beats his given foe. Even if he doesn’t survive, which he never has, you know he’ll be back for another film (he is!) and that’s all you need.

The trailer that basically shows how silly and amazing this film is:


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