Pilot: “Forever”

IMG_0290-0.JPGWith every new Fall season that comes to the broadcast networks, not everything is bound to be a hit.

For the upcoming American Broadcasting Company (ABC) series “Forever”, you won’t find something worth trying to make your television viewing any more crowded.

This supernatural drama stars Ioan Gruffudd (“The Adventurer: The Curse of the Midas Box”, “Glee”), Alana De La Garza (“Law & Order”, “Do No Harm”), Lorraine Toussaint (“The Fosters”, “Orange is the New Black”), Donnie Keshawarz (“Homeland”, “Person of Interest”), Joel David Moore (“Bones”, “CBGB”) and Judd Hirsch (“Sharknado 2: The Second One”, “Maron”).

The series was created by Matthew Miller (“666 Park Avenue”, “Human Target”).

The series will premier on Sept. 23, 2014 at 10pm, with a second episode debuting on Sept. 24 in what will be it’s official time slot.

Okay, so as I was watching a few snarky comments came through and I knew I had to write them down, or I’d end up forgetting them. I also thought, I didn’t want to change them, but simply add a few things that seem interesting and expand on whatever my thought was, in an attempt to clarify things. Although I’m sure there will be no need for this, so happy reading!

There was the wonderful, “Oh my god!! Nine seconds?! Nine?!? Nine seconds into the pilot episode and there’s narration?!? Really?! I hope this gets better.” Needless to say, it didn’t get better.

“Creep. Yeah, way to cover up your creepiness by acting like you’re Sherlock. Ugh.” Yes, the creator with this show, as has become some sort of fun thing to do, has made his dull, lifeless lead, a new type of Sherlock Holmes. More the BBC version, as he’s too much of an annoying ass about his observations.

“Less than two minutes in and he’s a creep.” And yes, after he starts being creepy, it’s meant to be charming and flirtatious. The female character eats this up, as she’s clearly an idiot.

“Three minutes in, he’s got the flashback going. Lame.” Yes, you read that. This show, at least for the pilot, is utilizing the now cliche premise of “flashbacks”. I guess the writer couldn’t find another way to develop his character, or tell his backstory without flashbacks. I’m not sure it’s entirely the fact, that it’s a flashback, more just the quick nature it came about and that it’s for this boring character.

“‘It all started 200 yrs ago.” And not 2 mins. later, it becomes “nearly 2 decades later.” Consistency. Who needs it?” I know it’s trivial, but this is first episode, of the first season. How can you screw up your own mythology so quickly? It’s not like this is season 13 and many different writers have had a hand in creating characters backstories, where sometimes things get changed or forgotten. Good god, help us all.

“Oh, and look, there’s only one person who know’s his secret. Where haven’t we seen that?” I can’t say, it couldn’t possibly be from every other show that comes out in the new Fall season, could it? What’s the eventual outcome with this type of story? I don’t think you’ll figure it out.

“And enters the bumbling idiot who can’t speak in front of women.” This character, played by Moore, I can’t tell what his usefulness will be, but I don’t think it will matter, as in this episode alone, he got something like five minutes or less, of screen time.

“Of course the man was poisoned. Couldn’t be some annoying police procedural like show without a murdered person.” It’s the police procedural way. Not necessarily bothersome, but just means this show will be a typical one with very little interesting happening to make this worth while.

“Didn’t we basic get this show back in 2003 with “Tru Calling”?” Maybe not exactly, but pretty damn close. Treading on some familiar ground.

“And look, some mysterious person calling to intimidate the protagonist. Mystery guy knows the secret! Dun dun duuunnn!” Yeah, I know. Boring. This mysterious person, as of now, is going to taunt Gruffodd for a while and either be the bad guy, or an ally. Which one which one?

“Cliche discovery that the protagonist was there on the train! What?!?! Please. What is this, a daytime soap?” While it moves the story alone it’s not original or entertaining.

“We interrupt this pilot to bring you “Flatliners”.” Firstly, I need to watch less “Cinema Sins” on YouTube. The protagonist decided that in order to figure out what the poison was, he’d have to kill himself by injecting into his person. Yeah, that’s the right way to go.

“As of yet, at 24 plus minutes, there’s not a likable quality in this character. Mind you, I’ve always found Gruffodd irritating, but still.” Hmm… I feel this sums things up quite nicely on this. He’s boring. You’re supposed to care that he’s lived so long and had a major love, but I don’t. He seems constantly reminded of it, but it’s more annoying than something I want to sympathize about. De La Garza also doesn’t have much anything with any of the characters she interacts with. Her best quality is she does one night stands, like a lot of people do, and is a female detective. Not a good enough reason to return.

“Cliched talk about character as he walks up behind you. Can you populate this with anymore cliches? Wait, there’s still over 15 minutes to go. My guess is, yes.” As it says, this popped up an aimed to further irritate me. Whoever greenlit this pilot over at ABC, should be fired.

“Characters that are snooping, that shouldn’t be, are interrupted when bad guy/suspect arrives. Yawn!” *Sigh* Why did I bother to finish this pilot? It’s on iTunes, you could’ve easily watched it yourself, oh wait, that’s why I suffered through it. I could do it for you as it’s free. I don’t contribute to the ratings and help get this show cancelled all that much faster.

“And just when you thought he wasn’t there… he pops up behind you! Boring.” Yes, another cliche. Let us explore the roof where the killer most likely is, and hope he isn’t, just to “discover”, he’s not. So we think it’s safe and what happens next? He pops out from behind you! If this is all it takes to write a pilot and get a show on TV, why are there not more writers for television shows?

“Oh look, he’s died in time for the female detective to figure out, definitively, that something’s off with the guy… and then they “trick” you with this false idea it was something else and not him involved. Kill me now.” Yup, you read it plainly. The writer clearly thought that feeding this storyline, where De La Garza must always be suspicious of Gruffudd is going to add to the dull rhythm this show has already taken on.

“This is practically a stupid version of “Castle”.” And it is, when you look at it. Nothing happens that screams, “remember me!”, but you watch anyway. He’ll be the go to ME and solve crimes with her too, so it’s exactly like “Castle”! I guess ABC is aiming for easy and boring, whereas I want smart and creative. Or, at the very least, more creative than this.

Okay, so the long and the short is, this sucks! I’m glad this was free, as well as hate it, or I’d plain skip it. Now I know definitively, that I won’t be watching this ever. I give it at most, a few months.

Trailer:

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